If You’re Going to Haunt Me, At Least Be Helpful

There’s a hand truck in front of my building. It’s been there for two nights. No idea where it came from and no one has claimed it.

The likely explanation? It’s garbage.

My explanation? Much more fun. Here’s what I like to think happened:

My apartment is haunted. Whatever spirit resides here wants me out.

Sounds scary, right?

But it’s not. You see, this apparition doesn’t just want me out…it’s bringing me moving equipment to help the transition.

You’ve got to appreciate a ghost who gives you the tools you need to make their desired reality come alive. By next week I’m expecting a stack of Home Depot boxes. Maybe a Post-It with the words “Take Your Time” written in spooky lettering.

And finally, the piece de reistance: a spectral U-Haul hovering above my bed at night, with yet another note reading, “Seriously, get out. I’ve given you plenty of notice. Don’t cost me the deposit for this Ghost U-Haul, or as we ghosts call it, the Undead-Haul.”

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