“I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie” Sounds Awfully Defensive

I was watching an episode of Frasier the other day where they made a joke about someone’s wife having a big ass. It made me think of Sir Mix-A-Lot, and the most iconic line from his most iconic hit, Baby Got Back: “I like big butts and I cannot lie.”

I understand why he’d proclaim why he likes big butts so much. But why be so adamant telling the truth about liking big butts?

Have you been accused of lying about this before? Is he with a bunch of his friends who hear this and all bust out laughing, doing the jerkoff motion. “Sure, Mix, whatever you say. Look you may be able to fool your fans but you can’t fool us. We know you’re a titty guy.”

Is he under oath. “I like big butts and I cannot lie. Literally. I just swore on the Bible.” I like to think of what kind of trial he’d be asked that question in. I’d love to hear the lead ups to it. “Mr. A-Lot, is it fair to say you’re known as something of an ass man?”

Maybe he’s answering the question after taking a shot of sodium penthothol during a CIA interrogation. Some agent with his sleeves rolled up is slamming a phone book against his face. “You better not be lying, Mix! Our national security depends on you telling us whether or not you do in fact like big butts! So I’m going to ask you one more time…do you, or do you not…like..BIG…BUTTS?!?!”

None of these are true of course, but I the way he says it makes me think he’s like a childhood George Washington having just chopped down his father’s cherry tree. Only instead of a cherry tree, he’s been asked by his Dad if he likes big butts.

Now seems like as good a time as any to end this blog.

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Do you like pictures of big booties? Well if you sign up for my email list, I will no send you any of those. Seriously, did you really think I would? What’s wrong with you? Also do you not know how Google Image Search works?

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