Despite being a big movie fan, it’s true that I haven’t seen EVERY movie over the years. That includes some classics – movies that if you tell someone you haven’t seen them, they’ll actually get mad at you. I’ve even made a list of them, from my own personal experience:
The Raid II
Let’s go through these, line by line:
Braveheart: At this point, the toothpaste is out of the tube on this one. I have a feeling there’s no way watching Mel Gibson getting tortured and yelling, “FREEDOM” before being killed is going to get better than it would be if I I’d watched it before everyone told me to.
The Raid/The Raid II: Can’t argue with these – I’ve heard they’re great, and I still want to see them. However, this is the one that makes people actively angry. They look at me with a stink face and talk down to me, like I’m not worthy of engaging in conversation with. I never got this. YOU love a movie. YOU saw it. Why does it matter if I did? Whenever people get really mad at me about not seeing a movie, I’m worried they’ll drug me and I’ll end up strapped into some sort of Clockwork Orange chair with my eyes bolted open to watch Mad Men or something like that.
Boondock Saints: I’ll definitely never see this one, as I’m no longer a college student looking for movie posters to put on my dorm room walls.
Breaking Bad/The Wire: These are two classic shows and admittedly I’ve seen episodes of them here or there. This one’s on me, but like with Braveheart, it feels like it’s past the expiration date for me. I missed the Breaking Bad and Wire boats, captained by a bald Bryan Cranston and Michael K. Williams, respectively.
Oldboy: Read the plot description on Wikipedia. Feels like I would have enjoyed it not knowing the twist going in. Now? Hoo boy…I think I’m good. No one could read that and think, “Huh, I’d like to see that incredibly disturbing scenario played out onscreen without the benefit of it being a surprise!”
So there you have it. My most egregious entertainment omissions. Before you judge, just remember it’s not like I haven’t seen something universally loved like The Godfather…what’s that? You’ve NEVER SEEN THE GODFATHER? What the hell is wrong with you dude, get off my blog!
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