My special lady friend procured tickets to the Westminster Dog Show at MSG last week. I’d never been to a dog show before (much less THE dog show of all dog shows) so it was quite an experience. Below are some random thoughts I had on the event:
* This was my first time inside Madison Square Garden. A little weird seeing as I’m a Knicks fan. Though based on how the Knicks have played for the past 16 or so years, it was probably better this way.
* It’s definitely odd being in an arena built for basketball with a big crowd that’s mostly quiet. I kept wanting to start up some chants. “GER-MAN SHEP-HERD clap clap clap clap clap GER-MAN SHEP-HERD.” The adorable pug doesn’t make it through to the next round? BULLLLLSHIT, BULLLLLSHIT.” It’d probably take them awhile to realize who was doing it.
* On the Jumbotron they had “stats” for each of the dogs. My favorite was when they said one of the dog’s favorite snacks was “filet mignon.” File that one under “trying too hard to prove your dog is high class.” Yeah, I’m sure he’s turning his nose up at the prime rib.
* There was a pug there. Pugs at a dog show are like mid-majors in the NCAA tournament. They ain’t winning, but they are happy to be there. Honestly it’s just an honor to be in the thing, representing Middle Puggessee State.
* People would give HUGE pops for dog breeds they like. I thought that was weird. So you like German Shepherd…what if THAT particular German Shepherd is a bad dog?
* A lot of the officials wore tuxes or evening gowns. Basically they all looked like they’d never had to take a dog for a walk in the middle of the night. A more realistic uniform? Bathrobe. Two different shoes. No pants with socks pulled up to their knees. Messed up hair. Certainly no cummerbund.
Also, why dress up? You trying to impress the dogs? I guarantee you no English Sheep Dog is thinking, “Well I was gonna run all over this place and pee everywhere before, but seeing how they’re dressed now I gotta behave. After all, that guy put on a cummerbund for this.”
* Can someone remind me again why they need officials for this thing? Or why they need to crown a winner? Can’t they just walk around and give all of them a “good dog” ribbon? The dogs don’t give a shit.
All in all it was a fun experience. For about thirty seconds it made me want to train a show dog, until I realized it would remove all the fun parts of having a dog.
Speaking of dogs, my newsletter has zero information on dogs. I post cute dog pictures to my Instagram sometimes though. Sign up for the newsletter and I’ll send you the link.