Me and the Captain, Not Making it Happen

I’m in San Francisco with Elizabeth. First night in town, we go to the hotel bar for a drink. Waiter approaches, asks what I want. I usually only get one thing, so I order it: Captain and Coke. He looks a little confused but scribbles it down and comes back a minute later.

“We don’t have Captain.”

Okay, no problem, I get something else. The next night, we come back to have dinner and a drink. We get a separate waiter (though the first waiter is working as well. Elizabeth orders a Captain and Diet. Before New Waiter can say anything I say, “They don’t have that, remember?”

New Waiter pipes up. “Yes we do!”

See now we got a problem, because I have to figure out why Original Waiter held out on me. Part of me wanted to call him over and drive a wedge between the two coworkers just to get to the bottom of this.

I’ve thought about the possible reasons and ran them by Elizabeth, causing her to shake her head and say, “Who cares? You got the drink you wanted,” as I listed off possible reasons for this stunning deception. Here’s what I came up with:

He Checked and Didn’t See It
This is fine. No problem. Honest mistake.

The Bartender On Duty Didn’t See It and Misinformed Him
Again this transfers the error to someone else but all in all, not a big deal.

He Wants Me To Quit Drinking
This is possible. Though he did bring me another drink, so if this is end game he did it half-assed.

He Personally Doesn’t Like Captain Morgan and Doesn’t Want Anyone to Drink It
A bit far fetched but you never know. Maybe he started off recommending people off of it (“Don’t you think it’s a little too sweet? And is vanilla flavor really THAT good?”). Now he’s moved up to just straight up lying to people about it.

He Knows That’s My Drink and is Trying to Get Me to Expand My Alcoholic Horizons
“Dude, I drank Captain in college. Time to grow up and leave childish things behind.”

I’m hoping it’s the last one, because then he was just giving me a chance to grow. So thanks, Original Waiter. You’ve allowed me to move from being a kid who drinks Captain Morgan into a man who says, “Oh okay, rail is fine,” at the San Francisco Marriott.


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