The 12 Most Embarrassing Reveals in the DNC Email Leak


Democratic National Committee Chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz resigned Sunday amid an email leak showing the DNC’s clear favoritism for Hillary Clinton as the Democratic nominee. How bad was it though? After reviewing the media reports about it, here are some of the more embarrassing details from the leak:

* Over $14K in DNC funds allocated for lighters, paper bags and dog shit for placement on Bernie Sanders’ doorstep.

* Frequent office debate: who’s better at bringing people to heel, Hillary with black people in the early 90’s or Wasserman-Schultz with NBC anchors?

* DNC staff wanted to call out Sanders as an atheist, questioning his Jewish faith and belief in God as a way to hurt him in Southern Baptist states like KY and WV. Because if there’s one thing those states are known for, it’s loving Jews.

* There were efforts to try to embarrass Donald Trump beyond just letting him speak in public.

* Lots of discussion on other tactics they could use to give Hillary an unfair advantage like voter suppression, illegal donations, and anabolic steroids.

* Ventriloquist comedian Jeff Dunham paid as a consultant to train Hillary how to properly “handle” Wasserman-Schultz.

* Convoluted idea to spread rumor of Bernie having chlamydia just so they could toss out the slogan “Feel the Bern (Yeah….While U Urinate!).”

* Original campaign slogan: “Hillary 2016: Everyone Just Do As You’re Told.”

* This has nothing to do with the current election, but embarrassing all the same: “DNC” originally stood for “Democratic Nut Cock.”

* This whole thing could’ve been avoided if Bernie had just sacrificed a live animal to Hillary like they asked.

* All DNC staff agreed that if their emails were hacked, blame it on the Russians. You know, like in Veep when Selena accidentally tweets a DM and blames it on the Chinese? Remember that plot line from a fictional comedy show the DNC is copying and expecting us to buy with zero proof?

* You think what they did to Bernie was bad? Wait til you see what they have planned for the poor sap who tries to run against Chelsea in 2024.

For more fake political news, subscribe to my monthly newsletter. It has more smart, incisive gems like that “Democratic Nut Cock” joke.

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