The Fact That George RR Martin Is American and Not British Makes Him Seem Even Weirder

george rr martinSeriously, I can’t be the only person to be surprised when they heard that guy is American, right? I could’ve sworn he was British. I just recently found out that he wasn’t, and boy did it send my perception of the guy for a ride.

Picture George RR Martin in your head and pretend you know nothing about him other than that he’s an overweight fantasy writer with a weird beard. If that’s a British guy: okay, he probably smokes a pipe, has a wife who looks like Mrs. Claus and owns a sheepdog. Sure, he’s a tad eccentric, but he’s also jovial and beloved. He’s big into Christmas and loves when the neighborhood carolers come around during the holidays. Oh, that George.

Okay, now picture that same guy, but as an American. What conclusions do you draw? Since you’re thinking it, I’ll say it up front: massive porn collection. And not of like, DVDs. He’s got more VHS tapes than a circa 1990 Blockbuster. I’m not going to go into the specific categories, but let’s just say he has his fair share of anime. Cartoon octopi are doing some terrible things in the RR Martin household on a nightly basis. That’s not to say he ONLY has VHS. His hard drive needs a shower. He buys Mountain Dew in bulk. Selena Gomez posters litter the house. If he had a daily planner, he’d have 8 hours blocked off every day just to leave disturbing YouTube comments. He’s searched Amazon to buy things he could sniff.

This is less a criticism of George RR Martin and more about a criticism of the guy George RR Martin looks like he should be.

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