Zack Snyder to Direct Justice League

Justice LeagueIt’s official: Zack Snyder is directing DC’s Justice League movie. I’ve acquired a copy of the script, and here are some of the more surprising details (MAJOR spoilers ahead): 

* The narrator is Green Lantern 20 years from now, voiced by Bob Saget.

* The film’s prologue is Wonder Woman talking directly to the audience trying to convince them that Sucker Punch was pretty good for what it was.

* Aquaman is killed off early when he’s caught in a tuna net. The team tearfully mourns his loss at Long John Silver’s as they eat him with lobster butter and tartar sauce.

* The villain is Donald Trump and his evil plot is to knock down the old Justice League theater to build condominiums. The gang has to band together for one final show to save it.

* At one point, Superman rushes into the Hall of Justice late for a meeting, hurriedly taking off his trench coat and saying, “Sorry I’m late guys, I just got done kicking Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and Captain America’s asses.”

* In a callback to Super Friends, there are appearances by both Robin and Scooby Doo.

* For one thing, a quarter of the script is just a word-for-word copy of Pulp Fiction with Superman and Batman as Jackson and Travolta.

* Everyone agrees that the Flash’s superpower – super speed – is too one dimensional, so he’s given adamantium claws.

* There’s a scene where Wonder Woman tries on a bunch of dresses while the rest of the Justice League gives each one a thumbs down until she tries on one that looks a little bit edgy and they all nod and say, “Uh-huh! You go girlfriend!”

* Green Arrow makes a brief cameo but disappears after being told guns exist.

* On page 65 there’s a really weird exchange of dialogue between Superman and Batman:

SUPERMAN: “Hey Bruce, you never seem to have a girlfriend. I have Lois. What do you do for companionship?”

BATMAN: “Oh it’s all good, I just throw food in the oven and then do stuff to it.”

SUPERMAN: “Are you serious? That’s gross!”

BATMAN: “Yeah whatever man, look are you gonna finish that muffin?”


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