Spoiler Alert: 300 Rise of an Empire

ephialtes300: Rise of an Empire, the sequel to the 2007 hit film 300, opens Friday. I’ve seen an advanced screening and here are some surprising plot details I uncovered: 

* Homoerotic undertones of the first film replaced by an opening 15 minute montage of two dudes tongue kissing

* To top all the six packs in the first movie, every guy in this one has a twelve pack

* The weird deformed Spartan traitor from 300 returns to play a tree stump

* The soundtrack is full of electric guitar riffs, that staple of ancient Greek music

* The film’s big catchphrase is “THIS…IS..SPARTAAAAAAA…AGAIN.”

* Although the first film drastically plays with historical events, this one alters them completely as I’m pretty sure there were no machine guns back then

* In order to really hammer home the whole “Greek culture” thing, halfway through the film there’s a ten minute intermission with instructions on how to make a gyro

* The ghost of Leonidas returns to warn the stars of the film that their careers will seem to get better after this movie but really, they won’t amount to much of anything

* In another attempt to apply more modern day issues to ancient Greek life, one Spartan soldier brings up the idea of letting gays in the Spartan military before they realize it’s definitely cool because they’re all gay

* Rampant product placement takes over when the sweaty Greeks take a second away from the battle to hydrate with ice cold Gatorade

* The film’s entire official title is Lee Daniels’ 300: Rise of an Empire

* Towards the end when a Spartan soldier is yelling something about freedom, one of them says, “But doesn’t slavery play a critical role in Greek culture?” before being chopped down by another Spartan with sick abs

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