What is a Particular Set of the Deal With Airplane Peanuts?

Nonstop2Hello. I am Liam Neeson. You may remember me from the movie Taken. In this film, I am a federal Air Marshall trying to figure out which mysterious hijacker has taken over my plane. This is an open letter to the hijacker. I have a question for you, a simple one. And that question is this:

What is a particular set of the deal with airplane peanuts?

I mean, really? Have you seen a particular set of these things? The bags are so tiny. What particular set of people would gain enjoyment from eating such a small bag of peanuts? Am I particular set of right, people?

This observation, and more, will provide a particular set of the bedrock for my new standup comedy act. Filming this movie, I realized that the particular set of experiences one goes through while flying is ripe with a particular set of comedic potential. Therefore I have decided to record a particular set of my thoughts on airplanes and take to a particular set of comedy club stages to share them. I have never watched a particular set of standup before, so I assume this is uncharted territory for the particular set of this art form.

The best part about this? There is a particular set of so much more material I can mine from the aiport and flying experience. A particular set of layovers, a particular set of terminal etiquette, and a particular set of airplane liquor bottles. It’s a particular set of a never-ending gold mine, I tell you. How is it that a particular set of no one ever thought to talk about this stuff before?

Take for instance, a particular set of TSA screenings. I mean, if you’re giving me a pat down, isn’t it customary to take me out for a particular set of dinners first? The joke being that one engages in a particular set of intense physical contact, it is usually sexual in nature, and therefore it is customary per a particular set of social mores for the two parties to sit down for a meal before a particular set of sexual congress takes place.

Or how the particular set of experiences flying on the plane itself? As a particular set of flight attendants were circulating offering a particular set of drinks to us, I asked for a particular set of Coca-Cola. The flight attendant proceeds to pour a particular set of half the can into a cup. She then kept the particular set of the rest of the can. I couldn’t believe it! I told her, “Toots, my ticket cost a particular set of $300. Can’t you afford to give me a particular set of the entire can?” I will then repeat a particular set of the word “Really?” over and over until the the particular set of laughter in the room heightens.

Or how about the other day, when I was on a particular set of a flight to LA? I get into my seat, and the guy sitting in front of me is a Middle Eastern man wearing a particular set of a turban. I just sat there in a particular set of amazement, looking at him with a particular set of side-eye glances. I then said a particular set of the word, “Really?” to anyone close by. Is everyone a particular set of okay with this? We just let this guy sit on a particular set of the plane, even after the particular set of events that happened on 9-11?

After I mention 9-11 in my act, I will also act the crowd to give it up for a particular set of our troops, which is sure to garner a particular set of applause.

I am ready to conquer the particular set of the world of comedy as Liam Neeson: Airplane Comic. I have even come up with a particular set of original catchphrases, including, “That don’t fly with me, boy,” “Really?” “Layover? More like Can-I-Get-Laid-Over?” and “I have a particular set of skills that include telling great jokes about the air travel industry.” I’ve also created a particular set of products to sell at a particular set of merch tables outside my shows. Bumper stickers, keychains, and t-shirts with a particular set of pictures on them including pictures of my stern, uncompromising face, a plus sign, and an airplane.

This acting thing has been a particular set of fulfilling, but I’m ready for the next particular set of challenges in my career. If you’re interested in checking out a particular set of my act, I’ve already booked a particular set of dates available at a particular set of my website, FunnyLiamComedy.com.

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