Changes in the Robocop Reboot

RobocopIf you haven’t seen the Robocop reboot that hit theaters on Wednesday, there are a lot of changes from the original 1987 R-rated  version. Here are a few:

* Instead of Alex Murphy, his real name is literally “Robert O. Cop.”

* In attempt to further humanize the main character, more time is spent in this film focusing on his connection with his family. Also, he spends 15 minutes of the film crying after he watching Rudy on HBO.

* The famous “Bitches, leave” line from the original has been replaced with the more PC, “Womyn, would you please exit the room while us two cisgendered, privileged white males converse?”

* New suit that answers the age old question, “What if Robocop looked like Batman and Cyclops had a kid?”

* When he takes his helmet off, his bald head has been replaced with a really distracting Trump-like wig.

* His partner is a golden retriever who can shoot bad guys AND dunk a basketball.

* Due to inflation, the “I’d buy that for a dollar!” guy now says, “I’d buy that for five dollars and thirty seven cents!”

* The love interest is the OS from Her.

The original version’s iconic, epic score has been replaced by with dubstep.

* Greedo shoots first despite fan protests such as “this makes Robocop seem less tough,” and “Greedo wasn’t even in the original Robocop.”

* There’s much less gore. Just as many people get shot, but this time around Robocop has a First Aid Kit.

* For one thing, in this one his dick is a t-shirt cannon.

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