A rumor regarding a Full House spin off following the adult lives of DJ and Stephanie Tanner was recently debunked. But it got me thinking: what storylines would fans of the original series want to see? Today I’m speculating on potential ideas that could enhance the lore of the Family Tanner:
The girls have all moved out and the house no longer needs vacuuming. We follow the Tanner family patriarch as he deals with his obsessive-compulsive disorder and goes vigilante in an attempt to “clean” the streets of San Francisco with his bowie knife and a 12 gauge.
FULLER HOUSE: THE ADVENTURES OF STEPH AND DJ
The adult Tanner sisters both have big families of their own, and oh boy is it a laugh riot! The first episode deals with DJ having to get all her kids to soccer practice and Steph starts experimenting with crystal meth before everyone realizes the crystal meth thing isn’t part of the show, Jodie Sweetin’s just having a relapse.
UMM…CAN I AT LEAST SMELL HER UNDERWEAR?
50 year old Uncle Joey drunkenly shows up on Jesse and Becky’s doorstep and each week tries to think of a different way of talking them into a threesome.
This stirring prequel deals with the origin story of Jesse’s grandfather in the old country as he rises up the ranks of the Greek criminal underworld by participating in staples of Greek society: butt sex and smashing plates at celebrations. I didn’t know enough about Greek culture to write this joke.
This HBO drama covers neighbor Kimmy’s inevitable descent to the bottom of the porn industry.
YOU GOT IT DUDE!
The riveting tale of Michelle moving to New York, meeting her long lost twin sister, and subsequently killing Heath Ledger with prescription drugs.
THE MILKMAN AND THE PAPERBOY
This series takes place concurrently with the Full House timeline as we follow the milkman and the paperboy named in the opening theme song on their daily travels through San Francisco. The show’s main plot line deals with the milkman’s existential crisis over the fact that people don’t really need milkmen anymore.
Nicky is a no-good alcoholic bouncing from job to job. Alex is a successful stockbroker on Wall Street. What do they both have in common? They’re twins, they both can’t correctly pronounce the word “brother,” and they look like neither of their parents for some reason.
We follow the Tanner mother’s perfectly happy life after she abandoned her awful kids and ostrich-looking husband, leading Danny to lie and tell everyone she was in a car wreck.
A COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS OF THE THINGS WE’D DO TO AUNT BECKY
Charlie Rose leads a roundtable discussion of five men in their mid-30’s who talk about the things they would’ve done to Aunt Becky if they could’ve gotten their hands on her when they were 13. Or now, for that matter.