Spoiler Alert: Last Vegas

Last VegasThe movie “Last Vegas” premieres November 1 and stars Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Kline as four aging friends who travel to Las Vegas for a bachelor party. I’ve seen an advance screening of the film, and here are some of the more surprising details that made it into the final cut:

* The film opens with a prologue of them explaining to a forlorn Al Pacino why he couldn’t be in the movie.

* A Guiness Book of World Records official shows up about 25 minutes in to congratulate them for breaking the world record for most erectile dysfunction jokes.

* There’s an unsettling shot of all four men naked in a gym locker room, prompting De Niro to say, “By the looks of our disgusting, time-ravaged bodies, perhaps this film should’ve been called Gravity.”

* The film features a disproportionate amount of bells, whistles, and jingling keys, most likely to keep the elderly folks in the audience awake.

* Morgan Freeman roofies a girl’s drink, winks at the camera and says, “Because seriously, who would expect this from Morgan Freeman?”

* Lots of jump cuts, probably due to production having to stop frequently so they could “water” Michael Douglas with fresh botox injections.

* The four guys order the services of an escort but hilarity ensues when they realize she’s the granddaughter of Freeman’s character. Freeman leaves and the other three run a train on her anyway since the deposit was nonrefundable.

* One disturbing strip club sequence features Kevin Kline eating tapioca off a stripper’s ass.

* Near the film’s climax, the four actors walk past Alan Arkin, who exclaims, “Shit, was I supposed to be in this?”

* At the end the four men realize they’re all in love and have a big ol’ Lemon Party.

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