The Shortcomings of the iPhone 5c

5CAlong with the 5S, Apple has unveiled the less expensive iPhone 5c. The reviews are trickling in, and they are not good. Here’s a recap of the new model’s weaknesses:

* The phone’s lower price looks great until you realize it’s made of cardboard and powered by a hand crank.

* No matter what address you enter, GPS always leads you to the same Fuddruckers.

* Annoying new “What kind of person are you?” app reminds you to call your Mom every four days.

* Plastic back almost sure to end up in the ocean choking out a couple dolphins.

*  For some reason, Siri coughs a lot.

* No fingerprint scanning like with the 5S – to gain access to this one you just text your social security number directly to some guy named Snake.

* New case is just a bunch of tin foil duct taped to the back of it.

* There’s no camera, they just give you a coupon to redeem for a recycled Polaroid.

* Unlike the 5S, it’s not gold-colored, meaning Apple may miss out on its key demographic of Scrooge McDuck.

* They got so wrapped up with all the other features, they actually forgot to make it a working phone that can make calls.

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