According to reports, ABC is working with Lucasfilm on creating a Star Wars TV show (or shows). All parties involved have remained tight-lipped, however, leaving fans to speculate as to what characters and worlds the plot will revolve around. As a huge Star Wars fan myself, allow me to speculate on some potential shows I’d love to see:
WOOKIEE GROWING PAINS
Chewbacca assumes the Allan Thicke role as he tries to help his family navigate the typical teenage problems like dating, taking the driving test, and getting shit out of your fur.
After their takeover of the galaxy, it’s up to Darth Vader to work with the Empire’s PR department on designing an ad campaign to make them look not so evil. The show involves slogans, catchphrases, and Vader parlaying his alpha demeanor into tons of Empire tail.
UNTITLED GAY STORMTROOPER DRAMA
The galaxy’s first openly gay stormtrooper struggles with the fact that all the guys he works with look exactly like him, so if he dated any of them it would be like having sex with himself.
THE WIRE: MOS EISLEY
We travel to everyone’s favorite wretched hive to get an intimate portrait of the scum and villainy. Greedo is Omar.
IT’S A TRAP!
Admiral Ackbar stands outside theTo Catch a Predator tapings and ruins it for everybody.
Set in between A New Hope and Empire, Han and Luke’s new position with the rebellion means they have to find a place to rent on Hoth. Only problem? The only place they can afford is a a females-only apartment building, so they have to bun up their hair and slap on some lipstick to live there. The series ends when Leia hugs Lady Han and gets poked by his erection.
Lando Calrissian (Morris Chestnut) is a strong, black man who’s the youngest ever administrator of Cloud City. But has he met his match with Sidney Carter (Gabrielle Union), the sassy, intelligent new health inspector? Will they tear each other to shreds or has Cupid’s arrow hit its mark? Tune in to find out, Sundays this fall at 9. Also starring Cicely Tyson as Lando’s Mom and Morris Chestnut with a fake fro as Lando’s Dad in flashbacks.
COOKING WITH NIEN NUNB
Nien Nunb gives us his favorite recipes with a different celebrity chef guest every week who pretends to understand what he’s saying.
THE HILLS: ALDERAAN
This show follows teenage socialite Leia, adopted daughter of Senator Bail Organa, as she and her vapid friends go through money and boys like they were nothing. The only characters are Leia, Mon Mothma, and the blue-tittied girl from Jabba’s palace.
PIMP MY TIE FIGHTER
After being captured by Darth Vader during an exploratory machine to south central Los Angeles, rapper/actor Xzibit is forced to trick out the TIE fighters of a different Empire employee each week. Pretty much every week all they do is add hydraulics and spray paint. The show ends when everyone realizes TIE fighters are killing machines, not mere toys for child’s play. Xzibit is executed by force-choke.
BUT COULD HE BEAT CHEWBACCA?
Each week we follow everyone’s favorite sidekick as he attempts to overcome insurmontable odds battling formidable opponents such as hurricanes, King Kong, the T-Rex, George Zimmerman, and approaching a hot chick at a bar.