The Taliban is opening an office in Qatar to seek a political solution to Afghanistan War. My first reaction: “The Taliban have an office” What would those even look like? After doing a little digging, I’ve got some details on some features of the rogue outfit’s workspace:
* Supply closet stocked with the staples of every office: pens, legal pads, and C4 explosives.
* Breakfast cafe with coffee in three flavors: goat’s milk, hummus, and baba ganoush.
* Employees-only gym equipped with those monkey bars terrorists love to train on for some reason.
* Like all offices, sure to have one guy who won’t shut up about his weekend doing recon at the Statue of Liberty.
* Strict sexual harrassment policies ensuring all women get sexually harrassed.
* Boss who says, “Heeeeeey Muhammad…what’s haaaaaaaaaaappening?” before he gives out every task, even to people not named Muhammad.
* You know how every office has one or two out of touch people with no idea how to use modern technology? Yeah in this one that’s pretty much everybody.
* For Casual Friday, men get to wear jeans and women get to expose their faces.
* The road leading to the office has an HOV lane for workers who camel pool.
* Only government office where hearing “ALLAH HU AKBAR!” doesn’t send everyone into a full-scale panic.