Casey Anthony got away with murder. More than a week later, and I still can’t believe it. Despite a positively DeLuisian-sized mountain of evidence for the jurors to choose from, they opted to let a child killer walk. She’ll probably be able to cash in with a book or movie deal (I couldn’t bring myself to post a murderer’s picture on the blog, so instead I went with Alyssa Milano, the actress likely to play Casey in a movie, wearing a Yankees tanktop).
While all of it pointed to Anthony’s guilt, the most audacious bits of evidence to me were the multiple Google searches Anthony made on her home computer for terms such as “neckbreaking” and “chloroform.” With this in mind, I did a little more research and found some of the other Google searches made by Anthony:
- how long can a kid stay underwater before ur absolutely sure its dead
- if I did it by oj simpson
- best ways to piss off nancy grace
- if you want to shirk your responsibilities so you can go get drunk and blow dudes, is there an easier way to do it then by killing your kid
- how much is a hot air balloon ride
- how much would it cost to pay a hot air balloon operator to let you throw your kid out of the hot air balloon while you’re up there
- ping pong table tennis trick shots
- ping pong table tennis trick shots that are good for murdering people
- when you leave an animal in a hot car for too long and it dies, does that work with people
- easiest way to earn scorn of an entire nation
- cyanide flavored baby food is that a thing
- how to murder my daugher whose name is caylee anthony, my name is casey anthony
Finally, for all you haters acting all high and mighty out there about this verdict, all I can say is: let the person among us who has not murdered his/her own kid, gotten a tattoo celebrating said murder, made Google searches that made it obvious you were trying to cover it up, have your the terrible plan predictably backfire and then cover it up by blaming your parents for the murder cast the first stone.