The Best of Status Update Hypothetical

Every day I post a hypothetical question as a status update on Facebook and Twitter. Here are some of the best responses I’ve received so far:

You’re putting together a dream SNL cast. Who are your top 3 picks?

Danitra Vance, Rob Riggle, and Robert Downey Jr. — Adam, via Facebook

Who would you cast to replace Heath Ledger as the Joker?

Bernie Mac Al, via Facebook, which you can apparently access from Hell

The next one should take place like 40 years into the future, so that Jack Nicholson can play The Joker again. Then him and Lucius Fox can go on a trip to cross things off their bucket lists — Ross, via Facebook

Which celebrity would surprise you the least if he or she showed up at your door as a long lost relative?

Tony Soprano!!! lol hahaa — Rebecca, via Facebook (Doubly surprising due to the fact that Tony Soprano is a fictional character, meaning that you yourself are not real)

Bobby Knight, Johnny Carson, the late John Candy, and Samuel L. Jackson — Jim, via Twitter

Which music star will age least gracefully?

Aaliyah — Eli, via Facebook

Amy Winehouse — Everyone, via common sense

Who would win in a fight – Danny Tanner or Carl Winslow?

Didn’t Family Matters end with Carl beating Urkle to death? — Evan, via Facebook

Gordon Street? Ah, yes, Gordon Street. I once knew a girl who lived on Gordon Street. Long time ago, when I was a young man. Not a day passes I don’t think her and the promise that I made which I will always keep. That one perfect day on Gordon Street. That’s uh, five blocks up, two over.

Look I’m sorry, I know it’s a small part but can’t we get a better actor than this? — Robb, via Facebook

Which actor would you get to play you in a movie?

My answer is Gilbert Gottfried, but that is my answer to every question including ones that don’t involve people. — Keith, via Facebook

Jimmy Walker or a young Antonio Fargas — Lafayette, via Facebook (I just think it’s funny hear that he didn’t use the young modifier when referring to Jimmy Walker; this leads me to believe that this able-bodied young man would like to be played by a washed-up old comic resembling a rat

You are a mid 90’s WWF wrestler. What is your name, gimmick, and entrance music?

Name: The Thousand Dollar Man. Gimmick: spoiled nephew of the Million Dollar Man who received some of the inheritance. He flashes a picture of his BMW 3-series. Song: Something by Naughty By Nature — Graham, via Facebook

I would model myself after a Cuban-American from Miami, my character would be a mix of Tony Montana and Manny Ray. I would wear gold chains and hang them at the top of the ring before the match and claim “Something happens to this, something gonna happen to you”…My finishing move would be the Razor’s Edge where I lift my opponent on my shoulders and throw him onto the mat neck first…As for a name hmm… — Marques, via Facebook. The name here is obvious….Slicer Hernandez.

Thanks to everyone who wrote in. Big ups to you for letting me get away with another day not posting original content.


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