It’s well known that Coach Wade Philips runs one of the tightest ships in the NFL. He’s drawn high praise from his players for a crisp, efficient, and well-planned practice regimen. A friend of mine works for the Cowboys’ and he managed to slip out one of Coach Phillips’ itineraries from a recent practice:
8:00AM: Still sleeping.
9:45AM: Enter practice. Make sure the guys are running. Hard.
10:00AM: Meetings. The coordinators run these. Usually a good time to slip out and catch a movie. You know what….yeah! Maybe I will catch a flick.
11:15AM: “1 adult for the Tale of Despereaux, please.”
2:00PM: Have the guys run some plays.
3:00PM: Dream about dinosaurs.
3:15PM: Don’t you hate it when you wake up from a nap, and you still feel tired? Plus you’ve got a headache and a cotton mouth, for some reason.
3:30PM: Have the guys lift weights, but not too much. We don’t want anybody getting hurt out there.
3:45PM: Call the Giants and give them a big hearty “You’re welcome!” for allowing them to win the Super Bowl last year when it was so clearly yours to win.
4:00PM: Have daily contest with offensive line to see who can get the most Oreos in their mouth.
4:15PM: While the coordinators and position coaches watch game film, continually think to yourself how much you’d rather be watching Looney Tunes.
4:30PM: Slip out to Best Buy to look at HD TVs.
5:15PM: Cancel practice so the linemen can help you move the TV you just bought.
5:30PM: Meet with reporters. Make sure to repeatedly mumble about nothing being wrong with your team. Get indignant when anyone insists that things might not be going well.
There you have it. I think all of America is thinking that Coach Phillips, or as he’s known to his players, “The Drill Sergeant,” will guide his team to the playoffs tomorrow.