Christmas is only ten days away, and to celebrate, I’m recapping some of TV’s most cherished Christmas-themed shows and specials. Today’s recap is written by my boy Marques. I asked him to recap one of the Christmas episodes from his favorite TV shows, Family Matters. Here’s Marq:
Wasn’t there one where Urkel tried to convince Laura to have an abortion?
I’m almost positive that there was a Christmas episode centered on Urkel knocking Laura up, and then Urkel trying to convince her to lose the kid. That was Family Matters, wasn’t it?
Didn’t Urkel building this giant machine that when you stepped inside it and pulled a lever, you got an abortion? No, that’s not it. What it was, was this: Urkel stepped into the machine, pulled a lever, and when he came out, he was Stefan Urquel, with full knowledge on how to perform an abortion. Then he did it himself. He told Eddie about it, Eddie beat his ass, then they talked it over while sad music played, then Uncle Phil came out at the end dressed like Santa and gave everybody a great Christmas. Did that happen? Am I thinking of the right one?
(Ed. note: I could be wrong here, pal, but I don’t think that happened on any sitcom or TV show, ever.)
Oh. Maybe that was a dream I had. Either way, that woulda been kick ass.
(Ed. note: Okay…..care to add anything else to this recap?)
Yeah. Merry Christmas, everybody.
Sorry man, that’s all I got written for you.