Nobody Seemed to Appreciate My Harvey Dent Costume

I thought I really knocked it out of the park for Halloween this year. I was sure that going as a major villain from the highest grossing movie of the year was going to be an attention grabber. I was wrong. I just can’t understand why I didn’t get more props for dressing like Harvey Dent.

You’re talking about one of the most emotionally complex and deep characters from the major studio release of the summer. Shower me with compliments! No one else thought to do it. It’s easily the most clever, most awesome costume idea I’ve ever come up with. The fact that I didn’t get at least a beej out of it is one of the biggest tragedies since 9/11.

Let me give you an example of a typical interaction I had Friday night at this one party. Someone would come up to me and ask who I was supposed to be. I would tell them I’m Harvey Dent. They’d say, “What, you mean like Two-Face? But your face isn’t even messed up.” That’s when I would go into a detailed explanation as why Harvey Dent was a more compelling character before he underwent his grisly transformation. I usually did this for about 10-15 minutes, or until they walked away.

I even brought some accessories with me to add an element of realism to the ensemble. I wore a really nice suit with an I Believe in Harvey Dent button on my chest. I also carried around a quarter, a Bible I could use to swear in witnesses, and a crumpled up picture of Maggie Gyllenhall that I ripped out of Vogue. Also, I would pretend to get calls, answering my phone by saying either, “Batman? I can’t talk right now, I’m at this party,” or “This is Dent. What? Rachel died?!? OH MY GOD.” Then I’d crumple to the ground and sob for like half an hour. That’s what I like to call committing to a character. I’m not saying I expected random strangers to see this and high-five me, but it would have been nice.

Oh well. Guess I’ll have to top myself next year, although I’m not sure if I can. Maybe I’ll go as Dr. Octopus before all those metal arms got attached to his back.


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