I don’t know if I would play for the Broncos. They have some talent, but the altitude might make it harder to breathe, and their uniforms look kind of tacky. Plus, Deanna used to date this dude who really liked Bob Denver. I shoulda beat his ass.
PREDICTION: No thanks, guys. I don’t want to play for your team.
Darren McFadden is a solid prospect in the backfield, and I actually like some of the guys they have over there on defense. Overall though I don’t think I would enjoy playing for a rebuilding club. If they built a gold statue of me outside their stadium, then we can talk, but until then, I’m going to have to vote no.
PREDICTION: Sorry, people of Oakland, but I am much too good for your team. If I suited up for the Raiders I would have a hard time having fun like a little kid out there.
Joe Montana played for the Chiefs fifteen years ago. While he played pretty well, it always looked strange seeing him in a new uniform. I wouldn’t want people to compare me and him after I spent so many years playing in Green Bay. Also, Herm Edwards seems a little too loud for my taste. I like soft-spoken coaches who will do whatever I tell them to.
PREDICTION: I won’t play for Kansas City. Wait…I changed my mind, I’ll play for them. No I won’t.
With Ladainian Tomlinson and Antonio Gates, the Chargers have a lot of great weapons. I would love to play for them. Also, Philip Rivers could learn a lot from watching me play, although I refuse to actively teach anything to anyone who may threaten me. You know what? Just get rid of him to be safe. I know he’s under contract this year, but I’m sure the NFL will allow you to void that deal in the “Favre Must Be Able To Do Whatever He Wants” Clause in the last collective bargaining agreement.
PREDICTION: I will bless the people of San Diego with my presence, with one condition: those half back option plays where LT drops back and throws touchdowns? Yeah, those are coming out of the playbook. Nobody throws TDs but the Gunslinger.