It's Just Date-Rape


To the right is the ad for a dating service called It’s Just Lunch. They set up lunch dates for “busy professionals” who don’t have time to date. Now, I don’t know anything about this service; maybe it’s worked out and made a lot of people happy. It might be the greatest gift to single people since Beefaroni. I haven’t used it, so I can’t tell you about its effectiveness. What I can tell you is that they need to tweak their ads.

As your eyes move down the banner, you see three normal looking women. All very professional looking, all very attractive.

Now look at the dude.

Yeah, unless the name of the site is GreaseballsWhoMissChildSupportPayments.com, he’s out of place. He looks like the kind of guy who would want to have a harem really bad, but is just too damn creepy.

First thing: unless your last name is Selleck or Giambi, you shouldn’t have a moustache. If you do decide to grow one, make sure it’s not one of those wispy, child molester types. Facial hair can say a lot about a person, and what it says for this guy is: “I like to sit on the bench outside Hot Topic and rub my belly. Now, let’s go to my place; I’ve got warm beer and peanut butter.”

The look on his face says something completely different: “I want to smile somewhat uncomfortably so as to look approachable…but underneath the table I’m nursin’ chubby.” That, or “I just dropped a pill in your Snapple, what up now?”

The slogan for It’s Just Lunch is “Dating for Busy Professionals.” What exactly is this guy a professional at, selling flowers right before last call? Being a deadbeat husband played by Eric Roberts in a mid-90’s Lifetime Original movie? I can’t think of anything I would hire this guy to do if I were a businessman. Unless I ran an online dating site, and I wanted to sabotage the ads of my competitors.

Me: Okay, Vince, we’re going to send you over to It’s Just Lunch and have you ruin the photo shoot for the new online banner by just being in it. Can you do that?

Creepy Guy from Ad: Uh, yeah sure, Boss. Sorry, I’m a little woozy. Just got back from donating my blood. Man’s gotta eat.

Me: Well, Vince that’s very noble of you to donate blood to the Red Cross.

Vince: Who?

You’re going to have to try harder than that to impress the lonely women who date online, It’s Just Lunch. Not all women are going to go out with chumps like this dude just because they’re dressed okay. Oooh, he’s wearing a suit! Sign me up! And he’s got a pen, he must do lots of important businessman things! He must be rich and successful, and hopefully our lunch together will lead to many a-baby!

You know what that guy wearing a suit means? It means he’s a douche in a suit. And the way he’s twirling that pen like a low-rent Bond villain doesn’t make him any less douchy.

Change up your ad, It’s Just Lunch. Send that dude back to the set of Cheaters, or wherever you found him.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s