My Favorite NBA Draft Moments

My favorite sporting event that isn’t a direct competition is the NBA Draft. I’ve watched every one since 1993 and it never disappoints. Here are some of my personal highlights:

1994 – When announcing Milwaukee’s pick at number one, David Stern mistakenly says the name Glen Frey rather than Glenn Robinson. Unable to swallow his pride and admit he misspoke, Stern makes the Bucks offer a contract to the Eagles frontman.

1995 – 8th overall pick Shawn Respert prepares for his future career by standing outside and asking anyone if they need help parking their car.

1996 – Stephon Marbury and Ray Allen are selected by the Bucks and T’Wolves respectively, then traded for each other. Allen celebrates with a quiet evening at home with family and friends; Marbury spends the night eating cake out of a stripper’s butt crack in a Coney Island port-o-john.

1998 – TNT analyst Hubie Brown boldly proclaims that Paul Pierce will become the Michael Jordan of guys who will probably get stabbed.

1999 – Before being selected fourth by the Clippers, Lamar Odom surprises the rest of the green room when he gives birth to a five pound baby boy.

2000 – Marks the fiftieth straight year that Devry fails to produce an NBA player.

2001 – In order to select Pau Gasol with the third pick, the Vancouver Grizzlies kidnap 61 year old Kwame Brown. Brown had built a time machine and returned to the past in order tell the Wizards that he was going to suck.

2002 – When asked about their first round pick, Nikoloz Tskitishvili, Denver Nuggets officials sheepishly admit that they made him up.

2003 – TNT does their first movie cross promotion by incorporating images of Ang Lee’s Hulk into the broadcast. The tie-in with the Hulk is most evident to Sonics fans, who see their team draft Nick Collison, and then four years later get a draft pick who isn’t a boring shitfest.

2005 – The New York Knicks, for reasons unbeknownst to anyone, use their second round selection on Canadian entertainer Alan Thicke. General manager Isiah Thomas contemplates changing team name to the New York Thickerbockers.


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